I don’t think I have ever not posted anything for an entire month since I started this blog…..until now that is. We are three months into 2015 and this is my first entry of the year.
Guys I’m just going to be honest today. I have been going through some stuff. Some personal and most likely normal every woman stuff. But in the midst of it, it feels heavy and difficult. But I know I’m just going through one of those time periods where one day I will look back on this and think “jeesh I thought I had problems back then.”
Ryan always tells me my feelings a valid (what a good hubby) but I have had a hard time finding validity in what I’m going through. It has just felt selfish and insecure which are two traits that disgust me.
In January our church did a 21 day fast. This was of course something personal between you and Jesus on what you chose to fast from. I chose social media. The amount of time I wasted each day scrolling through instagram/ facebook/twitter and the worst culprit of all pinterest, was unreal, and I obviously didn’t realize how bad it was until I cut it out. So not only was the time commitment killing me slowly and taking time away from my family, but it was also the constant influx of good news and the need I felt to constantly stay on pointe. “Do your hair like this, buy this, dress your kid in these clothes, your home should look like this, only eat at trendy places, but not too much because you want to show off your thigh gap in those destroyed skinny jeans” and if it doesn’t you are a poor fat loser with no fashion sense or design capabilities. Too much? Well that’s how I started to feel…from people I don’t even know. I love to follow lifestyle and fashion blogs but that is not real life. I mean I wake up with really bad breath in the morning. 🙂 I feel like I could keep ranting but I won’t. It’s not necessary.
I will say, the break was much needed and I was able to fixate on the things above instead of here on earth and just like He promises I can find peace in Him.
I think I have said this before, but this is blog is for my family, to keep our memories knitted together in place. So that means not every picture will be edited and I might be a little all over the place when it comes to content and that is perfectly ok.
Now to catch up…….